History
Protecting your cash from thieves is considerably easier than in the old days. Imagine even 100 years ago before the days of ATM machines, traveller cheques and Western Union money transfers. Indeed before the days of printed banknotes it was necessary to lug huge amounts of coins and gold around. The latter being the nearest thing to a universal currency. The 19th century traveller extraordinaire, Richard Burton, notes:“Some prefer a long chain of pure gold divided into links and covered with leather, so as to resemble the twisted girdle which the Arab fastens round his waist. It is a precaution well known to the wandering knights of old.”
Links could be detached and traded for local coin whenever necessary. He then mentions an extreme measure:“Others, again, in very critical situations, open with a lancet the shoulder, or any other fleshy part of the body, and insert a precious stone, which does not show in its novel purse.”
Before most would cut open their body to hide a precious jewel most would resort to a more easily accessible hiding place – the anus. In prison systems around the world this was the sure method for preserving your cash in case of shake downs from the screws and theft from other convicts. In Papillon the Frenchman tells of his beloved ‘charger’ – a metal cylinder with a screw top in which he hid his money whilst imprisoned in Guiana.
“I kissed this three-and-a-half-inch , thumb-thick tube before shoving it in my anus. It went up high into my large intestine. It was part of me.”
British explorers and foreign envoys on long missions for the Empire were sometimes equipped only with a ‘chit’. This basically amounted to a promise for reimbursement from the Queen. Presumably it could only be reimbursed at some prominent office within the realm of the Empire. Imagine trying to pass that off on a yak salesman in Mongolia.
Carrying Cash
A thin money belt that you can hide with no significant bulge behind your trousers is a good bet. Most theft happens while you’re unawares and so if it’s close and tight you’ll feel any prying hands.
The same is true with the front pocket of a pair of jeans. However if you are mugged then it will be found for sure.Some use a dummy wallet or money bag with copious change so that the attacker will feel like he’s made a big score – he’s unlikely to want to hang around and check.
A good temporary place can be in your shoes. In many cultures anything to do with the feet is taboo and even thieves have their self-respect.
If you need to hide money in your room while you’re out the bin is a good place but very risky if there’s a chance that someone might throw it out. Or if you forget. Under the mattress will not work but inside a book is a possibility or inside a smelly piece of clothing.
If you’re anywhere outdoors you can bury your money wrapped well in a plastic bag inside a tin. Make sure you bury it deeply and in a remote place that you will not forget. There are potential drawbacks to this method – read A Hippy Village for details.
In some parts of the world eg South America only dollars will be respected. Euros are gaining a foothold but check before you go.
Traveller’s Cheques
These will cost you 1-2% to buy in the first place and then, depending on the policy of the country, may cost you more to cash them. Thus they can be a costly way to do things.
Depending on where you travel it may also be difficult to find somewhere to cash your cheques. Small towns don’t always have banks that accept them and if they do it might be they only take one particular brand. In the end it can mean that you convert so many of them at once that it comes to the same thing as travelling with cash.
Traveller’s cheques have two distinct advantages over cash to compensate though. Firstly, they are less desirable to the casual thief who would have no idea how to profit from them. They can’t be cashed without identification and a signature to match yours. So they’re less likely to be stolen in the first place.
Secondly, once stolen/lost they will theoretically be replaced at no charge by the TC company. There’s no mention of how many times they will do this but you can bet it will get harder each time.
In fact in some locations operators like Thomas Cook and American Express have been known to refuse to replace the cheques. Generally this happens in fraud capitals like Bangkok or Bombay. The bottom line is that they will eventually play ball but you may need to hound them relentlessly. They will interrogate you, insist on police reports (in some places next to impossible to get) and put you through all the hoops possible before giving in. Yet I’ve seen two cases where they refused to honour their agreement.
The basic reason for their doubt is that there thrives in many countries a black market for stolen traveller’s cheques. They can be sold for around 40-60% of their value to very smart operators who have enough contacts in the banking system to cash them even after reported stolen.
Many travellers do the above scam to raise some money. It’s the same reasoning that lies behind shoplifting from Walmart. Fuck the big corporations; stealing from them is no sin. Buddha wouldn’t agree as one of his basic tenets was ‘right livelihood’ but if you’re comfortable in considering yourself as a thief then good luck to you.
ATM Machines
This is maybe the most reliable way of getting at your cash from abroad. The banks charge a few % to transfer your cash and you can take as much or as little as you want.
You will be limited to how much you can withdraw in any 24 hours period however so it’s not so useful if you plan on, say, buying a car with your money.
Also once again it can be murderous to find an ATM machine in the third world. There might be only one machine in the entire town that accepts foreign cards and it may well be out of order. This is getting easier and easier though and you can still walk into major banks and have cash advanced.
Then again you’re dealing with computers. And they just love fucking you up. You may well have plenty of cash in your account but some glitch on the line convinces the computer you’re a fraudster and it denies you any cash.
It may even swallow your card if it gets really pissed and then you have to go during opening hours to the bank and try to explain in the local tongue what happened. Good luck with that. In the meantime you’re left broke and without even the means to prove that you do have access to cash.
In dangerous countries be careful around ATM machines and only go to them during the day. Muggers may well wait to see who’s leaving the cash machines. Put all your cash away before you leave and keep your eyes open.
Money Transfers
Everyone gets stuck now and then and has to beg family or friends to help them out. There are a few ways of sending money including American Express money gram, sending traveller cheques through Thomas Cook, using the local banks to transfer cash or Western Union.
All are okay except for the local bank option which is to surrender yourself to the mysteries of financial bureaucracy in a foreign country.
Western Union is the most practical and your money arrives in minutes. They charge you through the nose, however and a special seat in hell is reserved for the owners. They make billions out of poor immigrants sending money back home.
Finally, don’t forget that money transfers are almost always subject to Murphy’s Law:Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.
The money will have been sent but
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